Long Time No Blog!
Yeah, I know… I've been hearing it from some friends… "Are you ever going to post on your blog again?" Well.. here I am.
I guess I feel like I write the same thing every time I post here. Since I last wrote I have attended yet ANOTHER funeral. Jim posted on his blog (the weekend of Mother's Day) asking for prayer for my friend Christy's mom who became ill suddenly and ended up in ICU on Saturday night. Spent most of the night at the hospital with her… things not looking good. 3 days later this 45 year old woman took her last breath. 3 days after that I was at her funeral. I am almost feeling numb at this point. Or at least I thought I was, until yesterday at work.
HIPPA regulations prohibit me from sharing any details but suffice it to say it was the hardest day of my job thus far. I was called on to provide spiritual support for a family in our care center. All I can say is that it involved a child dying and it was awful. However, God's presence was powerfully in the room and one of the nurses present suggested that I sing a song. At the mom's request I sang "I Can Only Imagine" and then "Homesick" (by MercyMe) and several other songs. It was incredibly difficult but incredibly poignient. As I stood in this small room and felt God's presence fill the room and sensed Him wrapping His strong arms around this grief-filled mother I thought of the people who, over the past couple years, have so condemingly told me that I was "squandering my talents" and "wasting the gifts" that God has given me as far as singing and leading worship. I love singing… it is one of my truest and deepest joys in life. No doubt about it. And, truth be told… I love performing. I love being on stage. I love watching a crowd get into the music and have fun and connect in their own way with God and with others. I love having fun with the guys I play with…But yesterday in that room I couldn't help but think that it was a more powerful worship experience than any time I have ever "led worship" on a stage with a band. There was no great set list, no smooth transitions, no fantastic key changes, no lights or PowerPoint… just people who desperately needed God to be there. And He was there. So, I guess if this is what it means for me to "squander my talents" and "waste my gifts" then I'm totally okay with that.
I think I am starting to understand somthing that I first studied years ago in our Small Group in Grand Rapids. We read the book "Experiencing God" and one of the things in it was a challenge not to come up with some idea of what you wanted to do for God or what you thought God wanted you to do, but rather to find out where God WAS ALREADY AT WORK and then JOIN HIM THERE. I'm starting to get that.
At Christy's mom's funeral luncheon I had an amazing conversation with my friends Lisa & Jennie. It started because we were discussing the "Pastor" who did the funeral service and what he had to say. I have never wanted to CHOKE a pastor more than I did that day! Grrrr!!! His funeral message was a huge condeming lecture… his text was from Revelation… the Great White Throne Judgement…. need I say more? After the service my firend Jennie siad, "If that is what God and heaven are about… then no thanks. I think I'll pass." Nice! At the luncheon e talked about life and death and GOd and what He wants for our lives here and now, about struggles and addictions, disappointments and frustrations. We talked for over an hour and a half. On the way home Lisa and I talked some more and she asked about us (she and I ) meeting on a regular basis for accoutibility and conversation. I am so excited about this. God is doing such great things in her life and I am learning from her too. Bring it on!
Wayne Jacobson is coming to hang out this weekend. Very excited about that. He was out in Cali with our friends Rob & Cara and their relational community a few weeks ago. He is coming to talk about and encourage relational living with Christ and others. Should be a good time.
I was going to say that I would try and write more often but… why bother? Right? I'll write when I can.
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