Reflecting….

As I type this I am thinking back… two years ago at this moment (9:15ish) Jim and I, along with the kids, were standing on our front lawn watching our house burn. In some ways it seems like dozens of years ago. It some ways it feels like it was yesterday. So much has changed since then. I am grateful once again, for the protection of our Father in getting us all out of the house relatively unharmed… grateful to the many people who extended themselves on our behalf in the days, weeks and months after the fire… grateful for the friendships that developed and deepened because of the circumstances… grateful for the perspective it brought then and still brings to me and my family, about the things that matter most. Ironically… it's not the "things" that matter most at all… it's the people; the relationships. We have replaced most of what was lost in the fire… some things were not replaceable. But honestly, when I think back to that night and realize how quickly and easily the outcome could have been SO totally different (60 seconds later, according to one of the firefighters on the scene) I am truly overwhelmed with gratitude. 

Life continues to hand me more reminders of it's delicate nature… it's incredible fragility. I got a call from my mom on Monday night telling me that a guy I went to church wiith when I was a kid.. and then youth group and all… 36 years old… died. Brain tumor. Left 2 little kids and his wife. Since February 12 I have been touched by 9 deaths… 3 of which were young guys in their 30's… 6 of which were very sudden and unexpected…all of which have left me reflecting on life once again. The daily struggle to sort out what things matter most… what things to spend my time on… what things to let go of. It makes me want to just get on the phone and go through my list of friends… calling each of them to tell them what they mean to me. Or better yet, jumping in my car and going to them in person to put my arms around them and hold them and then look them in the eye and tell them what they mean to me. I keep having this feeling… "What if this is the last conversation I ever have with this person?" I know that sounds a little dramatic but you know what? I had final conversations with 9 people in the last 2 months and had no idea it woul be the last one. So, if I'm talking to you (in person or on the phone) in the near future, don't be weirded out if I tell you I love you. Consider yourself warned. Maybe that shouldn't be so "weird". Maybe if we told each other that more often there wouldn't be so many regrets at funerals. Maybe…

Well, I'm off to bed. Tell someone you love them today.

~ by syndie on April 6, 2006.